Don't Die
by Scotia Daniel
Summary: Everything was so dark and peaceful. Everything about floating in darkness seemed...calming. Relaxing. It was as though April O'Neil was floating in all of space and time and she was at complete and utter peace knowing the world around her was okay, alive and well. Was this how it was like to be dead?


Everything was so dark and peaceful. Was this how it was like to be dead? Everything about floating in darkness seemed...calming. Relaxing. It was as though April O'Neil was floating in all of space and time and she was at complete and utter peace knowing the world around her was okay, alive and well.

Something touched April's arm and the comfort she felt began to slip away. The darkness around her seemed to tremble and she didn't know if she should be upset or not over the loss of something like that.

April closed her eyes and when she opened them again, she was greeted by a bright light. She closed her eye lids again, feeling a hand on her arm and gently shaking her frail body.

When she cracked open her eyes once more, April realized she was on the porch swing of her and Donatello's farm house. The older woman blinked and looked up at the worried face of her husband.

April gave the man a smile, placing her hand on his and gave it a good squeeze of reassurance. They both were reaching their seventies and had begun to slow down, physically. But looking up at Donatello, she admired how, even in his old age, he managed to look the same. Same brown-red eyes she loved so much, same gap toothed smile, same beautiful personality...

"Are you okay?"

April blinked in surprise. Why wouldn't she be? She searched his eyes and felt a jolt of realization: _He thought she was dead..._April held his hand, brought it to her lips and kissed a finger gingerly.

"I'm sorry if I scared you, Donnie."

Donatello gave her a soft smile and sat down on the swing beside her. April could feel the wood creak as the weight shifted and she leaned into his awaiting arms. Donatello rubbed her back so warmly and gently, as though to make sure she really was there.

"April?"

"Yes, Donnie?"

"Don't die before I do."

April blinked at the odd statement. She shifted so that she could look up at him with the puzzlement she knew was probably on her face. But when she connected her eyes with his, she knew he meant what he said.

"Donnie..."

"I know you can't exactly decide that, but the idea of you going before me scares me. April, you're my everything. You've been the apple of my eye since I was fifteen, and that hasn't changed for over fifty years. The idea of having to live one more day after you breaks my heart, and I'm so scared to think that I could lose you at any point. I know it's stupid, especially with how we've grown up as ninjas, but now that we're old...now that we've lived a life together, created one, become one...I can't imagine waking up and you're not there beside me. I can't imagine walking into the kitchen and not being able to kiss you good morning while you're making coffee, or do the chores together, or just spend the long evenings in each others' arms like this..."

Donatello shifted to where April was now leaning against his chest and she could hear the soft thumping of his heart deep within the cavity of his chest. A heart she had fallen in love with so many years ago. For a moment, it was quiet and April had wondered if he had lost his train of thought. But Donnie inhaled and continued:

"I know it sounds selfish, and I don't want to die before you either so you don't have to suffer...that idea kills me more than feeling alone without you. I just wish we could die peacefully together when the time comes, or have life fade into the next where we can share these small moments so we never have to miss a thing. Never miss each other..."

April felt tears in her eyes. This topic had always been touchy and something that they often avoided, but she had noticed the anxiety in the man since she had started to become for fatigued and sleeping longer than she had before.

The woman closed her eyes and hoped that life would be good and let them go together when the time came. Donnie was right. He couldn't live without her as much as she couldn't live without him. He had become her other half without her even realizing it and now that death could be around any corner, their lives together had become that much more precious.

April slipped onto his lap, just as she had done when she was younger and kissed each cheek. She snuggled her face against his and held his head to hers gingerly as to not hurt him.

"Donnie...you will never have to worry about living without me. I know when the time comes, we'll meet again and we'll continue these peaceful days and beautiful moments we have. Even if one of us has to wait, I promise it won't be long. We've seen the world, met so many wonderful people and brought so many beautiful things into this world. I have no regrets when it comes to being with you, Donatello. And that will never change."

She heard the man choke up and his still strong arms wrapped around her tiny frame. April snuggled into him and closed her eyes. She knew they had said enough, and nothing more had to be said. Life would continue even when one is forced to live a little while without the other, but it would be okay.

Over the horizon, the sun set behind the sky scrapers of New York in the distance. Shadows danced across April's face until the sun disappeared in one last brilliant flash before completely dying for the night.

April never wanted to miss another sunset if it meant being with Donatello. It was funny how they took for granted so many things like that when they know time was slowly ticking to an end for them now that they were at the end of their limit.

The red head sighed and didn't dare to budge, even when the night became chilly and Donnie hadn't let go. His grip felt great and his words echoed in her head. She promised to herself that she would live as long as she could to make sure Donatello would never have to suffer. His arms gave her protection and made her feel so...safe. She prayed to whatever god was out there that she never had to leave his embrace, that he would forever hold onto her like that, even in death.


End file.
